What Will Become of Us
by fanficgirl13
Summary: Kensi's reaction to the kiss and seeing Deeks. What happens next?
1. Chapter 1

She had been in limbo since her partner kissed her on that bright sunny morning. Was she surprised he kissed her? Yes. Especially knowing Deeks who can be very infuriating at times but knows when to back off. She knew all too well how her partner feels about her a long time ago but refused to acknowledge it. _Scared._ That's what she always feel eery time she gets close to someone. Jack had done it to her when he walked out of her life and never came back. That was why she never had any second dates. But in all honesty she's had plenty of "dates" with her partner. She just doesn't call them that. She already works with the blonde detective but she somehow ends up spending more time with him outside of work which she really isn't complaining about because after all the time they've spent together she knows Deeks will always have her back. And that is what scares her. He has been with her and saved her life countless of times. He had managed to worm his way into her heart a long time ago.

_And it hurt. _It hurt to see him suffer along with Sam and she couldn't take him back because he had to stay longer to finish off the case. She could see the pain and agony on his face and it hurt that he refused to look at her when she begged him to while he was laying on the hospital bed after they had finally taken him and Sam away for immediate medical treatment.

Here she was now sitting at a place where her partner had made it his sanctuary. The breeze blew hair onto her face and as she watch a little boy surf at a distance she remembers that Deeks never had that. In some way they were so similar yet so different. She had despised the man at the beginning but grew to admire the man he became from what he had experience during his childhood. Everywhere she looks there's a reminder of him even the littlest of things and she can't help that he will always be with her even though he is physically not.

"Kens…?"

Startled Kensi looked up to find Sam and motioned for him to sit down.

"You know he's a fighter. I had never liked him in the beginning but he proved himself time and time again. I owe him deep gratitude for not giving up Michelle….for just being the best detective I've ever met. He might have had a lot of rough times but the man turned out well. He earned his place at NCIS Kens and I hope you will help us keep him there."

Wiping a tear that slid down her face Kensi composed herself hoping to find her voice. "He grows on you." She scoffs at that but knows that he misses the Deeks, want to visit him in the hospital after Hetty insisted that he goes back for a 24 hour observation. Sam managed to convinced the stealth operations manager that he will be alright at home with Michelle there.

"He does….he does. He took a blow Kens. A lot of them and he didn't give up. You shouldn't too. Don't let him go. Hold on. You will never agree on everything but meet him in the middle. Do not hold yourself out. You can't be doing this job forever. Think about it alright. Say hi to him for me when you go and visit him later."

And with that Sam left her to her thoughts. She had to do something or say something. Deeks has been giving most of the time. Now it was her turn. She just doesn't know how to go about it. She needed to give him answers and now before it's too late.


	2. Chapter 2

After Sam paid her a visit at the beach, Kensi didn't know where to go. She stayed until the sun set and just drove throughout Los Angeles to clear her head. Knowing that there was only one person left that she can confide to the turmoil she has and is currently going through Kensi headed for her mother's home.

"Kensi what a surprise! Oh I am glad to see you."

Kensi broke down as she felt her mother's arms encircle her. "Mom….I….." She couldn't find the words to say so she hangs on and finds the comfort that she so desperately need right now for herself and eventually for the team. Especially for her partner.

"Just let it out…..I'm right here." Wanting to ask her daughter what brought this on but knowing that she won't talk unless at her own free will, she waited. Although by the look on her daughter's face earlier she had an inkling of who this was about. And if she is right then it's about time that her very stubborn daughter realize that a certain detective was it for her. She had known the moment she met the detective that he was just more than a work partner with her daughter. Kensi did not fail to mention his name at every conversation that they have had since they reconnected. The true nature of their relationship seems to be unclear to her yet there was a spark in her daughter's eyes. And she would like to have that spark back again.

Letting go of her mother's embrace, Kensi slowly walked to the couch before sitting down. Not knowing where to begin she looked at her mom with teary eyes. "I didn't know how to react when I saw Deeks tied to that chair mom. I couldn't get him out of there knowing that we weren't done with what we had to do. I had to leave him to suffer for more. I almost lost it. Once we got the word that it was okay to get them out, I couldn't get there fast enough. He wouldn't look at me while he was on the hospital bed and I had to leave because I still had a job to do."

"Well he is your partner Kensi. Of course you would want him to be out of danger and to be put in that position is not easy for the both of you."

_Partner._ In true sense of the word Deeks is her partner. Have been since Hetty brought him from the LAPD as a liaison officer to NCIS knowing all to well that they didn't really need him as a liaison but for him to become an agent one day. But that same infuriating partner gave her a new meaning of the word partner in her life. He was always there and always persistent. Even Sam and Callen have started to tease her about it as of late. Hell Hetty even hinted it at her during their undercover case as a married couple. She vividly remembers sitting at Henrietta Lange's office that clear morning. _Do you want something more._ Does she?

"He knew that he was going in to a suicide mission. He had always told me in the past that he'd come back from any undercover op or whatever else was thrown his way. But we all knew that this was different. That they may not come out of it alive. I tried to hide what I was feeling that day. From him. But he was able to read me like an open book. We bantered like it was a typical day at work. And as the clock ticked I became more anxious, petrified." Taking a deep breath to gather herself, Kensi held on tighter to the pillow that was on her lap. She was aware that she had finally reach a point to voice out all the emotions that had been bottled up for so long.

One of her hands loosen and began playing at the hem of her shirt. Deek's shirt really. He just doesn't know that it has disappeared from his bag. Either that or he knew that it is in her possession. It was his favorite navy blue v-neck shirt that became her favorite. Although Deeks have never seen her wear it. She had taken it with her after they finished their stint as Justin and Melissa.

"Right before he left he just kissed me. But I couldn't say anything and diverted the situation. I felt so angry that night for how I reacted. He laid it all in the open before joining Sam on an undercover op that did not guarantee their return. And all I did was pretend that it was all for nothing."

Julia could only look at her daughter. She was emotionally drain and physically exhausted from it all. It was not every day that Kensi Marie Blye sat down and poured out her emotion to anyone.

Reaching for her daughter's hand, she gave it a gentle squeeze and wiped the tears that cascaded down Kensi's face. "You diverted from the situation because the kiss solidified everything you've felt towards your partner that you have been trying hard to ignore. And it also gave you an answer that feelings are returned. It was a confirmation of what you have known all along. You have to let go of your past with Jack, Kensi. You deserve to be happy. I know that you were furious when I left your father but you have to find ways to make your own relationships work. The ball is in your court sweetie. What do you want to do about it? That is the question that you need to ask yourself. Will everyone always be waiting for you or will they move on."

"You are more than welcome to stay here tonight. You are in no shape or form to leave and it's late. I love you Kensi. Good night darling." Giving her daughter a peck, she left Kensi in the living room to ponder and hopefully find some clarity as to what she should do about it all.

"Mom…thank you. And I love you too."


	3. Chapter 3

Deeks woke up disoriented not remembering where he actually was until he felt a shooting pain. Sitting up on his hospital bed he looked around and noticed a vase of flowers, probably Hetty or Nell. He remembered Sam's visit and being thankful that they both made it out alive and for not blowing Michelle's cover even though he was in too much pain.

_We're not putting anyone else for your position Deeks. We all want you back._

He had never expected that from the guy who loathed him in the beginning. Who teased him often enough that made him think he was worthless to them. He had always wondered why Hetty had brought him to NCIS when she could have the best of agents at her disposal. _It is not just about putting a team together within Mr. Deeks but acquiring those who have the talent and strong will that others failed to see or refuse to acknowledge. Bringing in a new member can create a team dynamic or destroy one. I followed your every move for years Mr. Deeks and you have it. You just have to show it to the others that you can._

He still doesn't know if he has the answer to that. All he knows is that he just have to survive today for tomorrow.

"Knock knock."

"Callen…how are you?"

"I should be asking you that question Deeks but good under the circumstances. We're all waiting for you to come back."

"Are you sure about that?"

"She'll come around. You know her more than Sam and I do. Know what she has been through and why she closes herself off. Just came by…..and see if you needed anything. I will get out of your hair and let you rest. Take care Deeks"

"Thank you for stopping by."

With a wave, Callen walked out leaving him the stillness in his room. It was never certain if Kensi even felt anything. Yeah they flirt but the woman runs away every time. All this time he kept it to himself and just accepted it that they were only going to be just friends and coworkers, partners. Up until the day he goes in for undercover. He did not want to leave her without her knowing so he took the initiative and kissed her. Confusion and shock was written all over her face that day and he didn't wait for any indication in her part.

She had begged for him to look at her yesterday while he was lying on the hospital bed but he couldn't. He didn't want to play puppet with them anymore. Like they just looked down on him because he wasn't one of them. With nothing left to do Deeks decided to rest and let the day pass by.

Hetty had told her that she could visit Deeks at the hospital since they were now only catching up on paperwork. She leaped at the chance knowing that she wouldn't be able to do anything else in ops since her head really wasn't there. Looking at her partner now, he appears to be so peaceful in his sleep despite the cuts on his face. She knew that he still has a long road to recovery with all the therapies that he will be going through and she vowed to be there whether he will let her or not. She had a lot of time last night to think about their unconventional relationship after her visit to her mother's home. And she was done denying what has been right in front of her.

He was awoken to someone slowly running their fingers through his hair and tracing the contours of his face. Kensi. He's had her scent embedded to his memory after working with her for so long. He'd recognize it anywhere.

"Hey partner…doctor says that you can be discharge this afternoon as long as someone will stay with you for the duration of your therapy."

"I don't need to have a babysitter Kensi. I've made it on my own and I can take care of myself. No need to bother of having someone stay with me."

"I am staying with you Deeks even if Hetty or the doctor didn't say so. You don't have to do everything alone. We are all here. I want to." She observed his reaction to that and was disappointed that the typical bubbly Deeks was absent. She want that Deeks back no matter what.

After finalizing the discharge paperwork, Kensi drove them to their temporary residence until her partner was well enough to return to his own. She might not have mention that tiny detail to him back at the hospital.

"Uh Kensi you are going the wrong way if we are going to three possible locations. This is not the way to your house or mine or Ops."

"No it is not. I couldn't let you stay at mine because it's too small. And while you have enough space at yours it would be easier for you to not have to trek the flight of stairs to and from your apartment. So Hetty opened up one of her house for us to use until you are able to return to yours. It's a single story home."

Too tired to argue, Deeks just sat back and hoped that this would only be a short stay. Apparently the house was not far of a drive to either one of their place and only a few minutes away from Ops.

Once settled at the house that he would be living in for a few weeks, he wandered around towards the back to find a swimming pool and a mini golf. The house itself was more than grand in his scale. All those moments spending with Kensi during their undercover came flooding back. It was too real and now they are about to go through it all over again.

That was where she found him standing by the pool. She drank his sight and slowly walked towards him grasping his right hand with her left and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry."

"Kens…."

"I'm sorry for what happened to you. For what you had to go through with Sam. For letting you leave without saying anything."

"It's not your fault."

"Dammit Deeks! You could have died. I almost lost it at the warehouse."

Deeks watched her after her outburst. He had never seen her like this since he started working at NCIS. There was raw emotion emanating from her which was a rarity for Kensi.

"I'm in Deeks. All in."


End file.
